


if you don't fucking care

by Hazazel



Series: youtuber AU [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Enemies to Friends, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, Youtuber AU, to maybe more ;), tsukki is a bitter peep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 20:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14089248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazazel/pseuds/Hazazel
Summary: Shouyou wouldn’t stop smiling. “You like hiiim,” he sing-songed. “You have a super gay crush on your fated rival !”The youtuber AU in which Tsukishima is a bitter singer, Akaashi is a tired singer, and Bokuto and Yamaguchi somehow manage to work things out.





	if you don't fucking care

**Author's Note:**

> << means a message from, >> means a message to.  
> Enjoy !

“I don't fucking care what he has to say about me, by the way. Let's just get back to music.”

If they didn't “fucking care”, Tsukishima wouldn’t have mentioned it. Keiji sighed once again, and closed the tab. He should be working on his next video instead of wondering what some person said about him, even if this person was the very famous youtuber Tsukishima Kei. _Keiji_ didn’t care. He didn’t care so much he immediately clicked on the link Bokuto sent him when he saw it was another of their videos and understood that once again, Tsukishima had talked about him.

“You two should make a cover together,” Bokuto had added, like every other comment on their videos wasn't already asking for it. Like Tsukishima hadn't already commented on that as well, to say they found Keiji's voice “fake deep, and too pretty to be honest”. Whatever that meant.

It was a hard job, being a youtuber, and sometimes Keiji wondered if it was worth it. It wasn’t even his day job, just something he picked up when people kept asking to hear him sing, and the drama definitely made him reconsider posting new videos every time some jerk in the comments decided that launching a fan war was a good idea. Like, say, that stupid thing with Tsukishima. Who had ten times the amount of subscribers he had, and who managed to get sponsors, that asshole.

No, that wasn’t not good, Keiji was getting upset again. It was not Tsukishima’s fault if they played the piano so well, if they could sing both pop and alternative rock, and if they looked like a model on top of it all. Some people were favoured by nature and Keiji just had to deal with it.

He was getting jealous again, wasn’t he.

* * *

 

Kei pinched their nose between their fingers and tried really hard not to snap at Yamaguchi. The jerk was sitting cross-legged on the floor of their room, licking a popsicle to try and ward off the summer heat, a shit eating grin on his face.

“No, I really do not want to make a cover with Akaashi,” Kei said, trying to look convinced. “His voice is weak and he can’t smile for shit.”

“What, like you can ?” Yamaguchi replied.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.” Kei turned around to face their computer and went back to editing. They had to post their next video tomorrow and they were far from done, especially with Yamaguchi distracting them every so often with his comments. Who cared if they used the same sound effect twice in a row ?

Kei pressed play on their recording again, and listened to themself talk about the comments on their last video. “I don’t wanna hear about Akaashi again, oh my fucking god, can y’all please stop with that ? I’ve said it like five times already, we won’t collab,” video-Kei was saying.

“Do you know you take on that awful southern American accent when you’re upset ?” Yamaguchi said from his place on the floor. “It really doesn’t suit you.”

“Who asked you ?” And before Yamaguchi could answer, they added, “I didn’t, please, stop it with that.”

“Hey. It’s not because you had an initially snarky reaction that you have to, I don’t know, play it full rage ? You don’t have to pretend to hate the guy.”

The thing was that, deep down in Kei’s mind, they knew they didn’t _hate_ Akaashi. It was more like. They didn’t know exactly, but it was too late anyway. Better put an end to this stupid thing before they embarrassed themself even more than they already had. They chose to leave that bit in the final video.

* * *

Bokuto was seething, but honestly, Keiji didn’t really care, at this point. Fine, good, ok. He didn’t want to hear about Tsukishima again. Couldn’t they leave him alone, if they didn’t want to hear about him at all ?

“Dude. You know what’s fucked up ?” Bokuto said, his eyes unfocused. “You haven’t mentioned them once in your videos. Like, you’ve never even talked about them ! And they’re just so mean to you ! I don’t fucking get it.”

“Me neither, Bokuto-san. I guess some people are just that bitter.”

“You know what ?” Bokuto continued, “You should just go all out. Drag them in your next video. I’m sure that’ll go well.”

“You mean terribly ? They have tons of fans, way more than I do,” Keiji sighed.

He couldn’t say he wasn’t tempted. Several times, he had edited out of his videos the parts when he finally snapped at Tsukishima, and though he sometimes regretted not leaving them in, the drama would definitely not be worth it.

Three hours and a hundred comments on his last video later, and Keiji was rolling his eyes so hard they might disappear into his skull.

“Oh my fucking god. Can you believe this ? I’ve never had that many dislikes in such a short amount of time.”

“Dude. Akaashi.” Bokuto was almost out, and his final words before succumbing to sleepiness were an annoyed “I bet you could sing their original songs better than they do.”

That would be on a whole other level of pettiness. Keiji wasn’t sure he would ever survive the backlash, but he had been thinking about quitting youtube for a little while, and this was just the perfect occasion to go down fighting.

“Thank you for the idea, Bokuto-san,” he said, patting his friend on the head.

* * *

 

Yamaguchi was laughing so hard his glasses fell off.

“Oh my – oh my god – I can’t – I can’t believe he did it ! That was fucking awesome !”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” they replied curtly. “It’s not funny at all.”

“What, pissed he sang your crappy break up song better than you did ?” Yamaguchi’s breathing still hadn’t evened out, and he let out a giggle. “Because wow, he rocks it !”

He did. Akaashi’s voice had never been bad to begin with, soft and deep at the same time, but this was the most beautiful he had ever sung. Good luck dragging him now, Kei, they thought to themself. Good fucking luck. They had never been honest about it, at all, and their lie was unraveling in front of their eyes.

“I do hope you’ll stop being a child and ask them out, now, right ?” Yamaguchi piped up.

“What ?”

“Y’know, to do a collab.” His smile was sweet, but merciless. “I think you owe him one.”

That was kind of true. Kei would rather bite their own fingers off than admit it.

* * *

Triple the amount of subscribers and the highest number of views he had ever had. Looks like his little stunt paid out after all. Keiji smiled while closing his laptop and took a sip of tea, his hands grabbing at the notepad next to his kettle. “Song ideas” was written in pretty calligraphy, a present from Konoha for his birthday. It had never been this full, thanks to the many requests of his new followers – wasn’t that amazing ? He had followers now. No such luck as quitting youtube.

A buzz told him he had a new text, probably from Bokuto, who was now his self proclaimed Chief Cheerleader – and who managed to keep up with the youtube fandom, a feat Keiji still didn’t completely believe in. Another buzz, and then another. Maybe this was urgent after all. Keiji took one look at his phone and almost dropped it. The first message was from Bokuto, “guess whos got ur number now :) :) :)”, and the next two from an unknown number. “Hello.”, and “This is Tsukishima.”.

“No, I don’t want to collab with you. Why would you even ask ?” Kei heard him say, and they knew it wouldn’t be easy, but this was just ridiculous.

 

Oh god, what had Bokuto done this time ?

* * *

 “No, I don’t want to collab with you. Why would you even ask ?” Kei heard him say, and they knew it wouldn’t be easy, but this was just ridiculous.

“Please listen to me,” they answered, pinching their nose. “I know I was. Discourteous.”

“Yes, you can say it like that,” Akaashi said, a smile clear in his voice. “Go on, I’m very curious about what else you have to say in your defense.”

Kei would not hesitate to hang up on him if they didn’t _feel_ Yamaguchi’s stern gaze as soon as they closed their eyes.

“Ok, fine, I messed up. Happy ?”

“Very.” Akaashi was ruthless. Kei felt like maybe they deserved it. “How is this supposed to matter to me ?”

It was not, that was the issue. Kei wasn’t stupid, they understood that Akaashi was perfectly right to make them beg for forgiveness, but damn if that wasn’t annoying as hell.

“You’ll get to gloat, on camera, on my channel.” They sighed, and added, “I’ll let you pick the song.”

“Now you’re talking,” Akaashi mused. “Of course we’d make a corresponding video on my channel. And I also get to pick, after all, you kinda owe me.”

“Don’t-” Kei started to say, but Akaashi cut them short.

“I still haven’t said yes.”

Kei opened his mouth, and closed it without finding anything to retort to that.

“It’s gonna be fun, cheer up,” Akaashi said, and he hanged out without waiting for an answer.

* * *

Oh god, it was a close call. Keiji got all he wanted and more – picking the song ? He wouldn’t have dreamed of it. Now he had to plan this carefully, or it could blow back in his face. Would he pick a mushy love song, just to see Tsukishima wince ? Would he pick a K-pop song instead ? So many possibilities, and so little time to sift through them all. Too bad he didn’t have many youtuber friends – though this would probably soon change, with his newfound popularity.

“Just pick a vocaloid song,” Kenma said when he called them, “that’s gonna annoy them for sure.”

Perfect.

“I’ll do that, thanks, Kenma.”

Bokuto was really on board with this idea, and without even asking, he reached for the notepad next to Keiji’s computer to flip through the song suggestions.

“Oh, you could cover Happy Synthesizer ? No no, DOGS !”

“Bokuto-san, if you still wanna hang out every single day here, you’ll have to behave,” Keiji sighed. “DOGS is a good idea, though… I’ll just have to figure out how to play that on my guitar…”

Bokuto chuckled. “This really is amazing. Your fans are gonna flip their shit out !”

They probably would. Keiji wasn’t sure they’d be the only ones to do so, if his heartbeat was to be trusted.

* * *

 

Kei almost chucked a book at Yamaguchi’s laughing face.

“A fucking vocaloid song ! I can’t believe this dude. Remind me why I listened to you about this ?”

“Chill the heck out, oh my god,” Yamaguchi answered. “It’s a nice song, I listened to it on the way here.”

“It’s a vocaloid song, how good can it be ?” Kei pinched their nose bridge. “Don’t ! Don’t fucking answer that. I don’t fucking care.”

“I did tell you it was gonna bite you in the ass,” he said airily. “Serves you right, don’t you think ?”

The worst part was that Yamaguchi was totally right. Ever since Kei first mentioned Akaashi in one of their videos, Yamaguchi had placed bets on how soon they’d collab. And without ever wanting to, Kei kept denying they ever would. That turned out well, didn’t it.

**> >fuck**

I know I agreed to let you pick the songs but I refuse to sing those.

**< <fuck**

you don’t get to back off, Tsukishima

i also picked the song for my channel

**> >fuck**

Wait do you mean the vocaloid cover is going on my channel ? I refuse.

**< <fuck**

can you, though

Kei stared at his phone, stared some more, and chucked it at Yamaguchi’s face. Served him right.

* * *

Bokuto was laughing his ass off. Keiji was starting to regret this a little, but hey, he had all the chords memorised, and Tsukishima agreed on a meet-up date for their covers. They’d sing at their place, because they had a much better camera, and an actual microphone. Maybe one day Keiji would have his own, instead of recording on his parent’s old Nikon.

“Do you really think they’ll do it ?” Keiji asked for what must have been the fifteenth time.

“Yeah, I think so,” Bokuto answered, “you know, they don’t seem that bad. They’re the one who asked for your number after all.”

“How did they even get yours ?”

“Oh, I’m friends with their best friend, Yamaguchi ? He was in like, one of their old videos. I’m trying to build you a network, ‘kaashi ! You’ll never get popular if you don’t have popular friends !”

Keiji would be hard pressed to admit he had watched most of Tsukishima’s videos in a single night, and remembered Yamaguchi as a cute guy wearing glasses and ugly jumpers. Tsukishima also wore glasses. They didn’t look half bad on their face, too. Keiji wondered how he’d look with contact lenses instead, his hazel eyes glimmering.

Wait, fuck, no.

Oh god, it was a close call. Keiji got all he wanted and more – picking the song ? He wouldn’t have dreamed of it. Now he had to plan this carefully, or it could blow back in his face. Would he pick a mushy love song, just to see Tsukishima wince ? Would he pick a K-pop song instead ? So many possibilities, and so little time to sift through them all.

 

* * *

“Ok, so, we’ll sit on the bed. The microphone is not gonna cover your face, so don’t… don’t pull any weird expressions.”

Or do, Kei thought, you’d look stupid and people would stop talking to me about you.

“I don’t have a microphone, I’m used to this,” Akaashi said, and Kei stifled a sigh.

Truth was, he looked great in his videos, the shitty Nikon camera forgotten in the light of Akaashi’s beautiful face. Not that Kei thought so – Yamaguchi had said that, that’s all. _Keep telling yourself that_ , Yamaguchi’s voice said in his mind, and Kei pinched his nose in discontent.

“What do we start with ?” Akaashi asked.

“The vocaloid song,” Kei answered. They almost added “I want to get this over with as quickly as I possibly can”, but bit their lips so it wouldn’t come through. Akaashi did specify they didn’t have to complain, and he was right – this was a demise of their own doing.

The sing along didn’t go so wrong. Kei was even willing to admit that Akaashi did a good job, both singing and playing the song on his guitar. They’d even go as far as saying Akaashi looked good when he sang, not to his face, obviously, but still.

The glaring issue was that they now had to sing one of his original songs, and, Kei just realised on the spot, that this was the one he’d written about Akaashi.

* * *

 “Who the fuck names a song ‘I hate your eyes’ ?” Keiji grumbled. He’d picked this one at random, not particularly looking up the lyrics or the chords, assuming Tsukishima kept a tracklist, since this song was theirs.

“You didn’t even bother looking the chords up,” Tsukishima muttered back. “You’re not taking this seriously at all…”

“Why, are you ?” Keiji said.

Tsukishima would rather die of spite rather than admit it, so they let the matter go. The cover went pretty well, up until the last stanza – Tsukishima suddenly turned a little pink, and looked away from the camera.

“And the look in your eyes, is what’s making me say, don’t look away,” they both finished singing.

That’s when Tsukishima looked at him, really looked – a somewhat brave gaze setting on his face. Oh, hell no, Keiji thought. _That song’s about me_.

* * *

 “I’m never going out of my flat again.”

“You’ll need to go grocery shopping soon,” Yamaguchi answered.

That was true – there was almost nothing left in the fridge, and they had barely been able to give Akaashi a bowl of warmed-up rice when he came for the shooting of their collab.

“I’ll never be able to post a single original song again.”

“You have, like, three projects going on right now, and you’re not a quitter.”

Maybe so.

“He’s gonna end me. I just know he will.”

“That’s not his style.” Yamaguchi laughed a little, before saying, “You know, I think this is good character development. Maybe you’ll stop being the bitter opponent and, like, actually befriend someone for once.”

“You know damn well this isn’t about being friends,” Kei said between clenched teeth.

“Only if that’s what you want it to be,” Yamaguchi said softly. “You know-”

“I don’t. And I don’t want your life lessons, either.”

“Fine, fine ! Just, don’t tell me I didn’t warn you. We’ll see when you upload the video.”

Yeah, they would.

* * *

Kenma didn’t feel like talking today, but Keiji didn’t either, so they were the perfect company.

Five cups of coffee later, and the words were bubbling out of his mouth – damned coffee. Damned Tsukishima, too, who apparently wrote to him a fucking love-hate song.

_Your cheeks have the scent of leaves I crush between my fingers_

_So ‘don’t look at me’ is what I’m trying to say_

_Between you and I there’s a hopeless fight, there can’t be winners_

_So please take my hand and don’t look away_

_I hate the colour of your eyes,_

_But damn if they won’t make me stay_

_They’re of this colour I despise_

_But I guess what I’m tryin’ to say_

_Is please take my hand and don’t look away_

_Please take my hand, and don’t look away_

The song was rather good. How had he not noticed that it was about him ? Tsukishima had been so obvious about it some people in the comments created entire fan theories about them secretly dating. Keiji’s favourite comment was from sunshine-sho, who basically guessed their entire life story based on this song. “its so obvi theyre not dating, tsukki hates himself too much for that, but yeeeet ill give it a month before they collab, and two before they start dating”. He’d been right so far, a month later and Tsukishima was about to post the vocaloid cover on their channel. Keiji’s stomach did a weird somersault, and he read the last part again.

Well, if he didn’t daydream about it, he sure was about to start soon.

* * *

 Kei was going to die soon. Very soon. And probably of a heart attack. They usually didn’t look at comments, either because there were too many, or because he filtered them using hashtags. There was no reason for him to know about every single comment – not when he had way, way more important things to do with his time. He only became aware of it because it was the most liked comment of every single one of his songs.

“Shouyou. What the fuck is this comment on my video.”

“Which one ? You know I’m like, the one that comments the most on them.”

“You know the one,” Kei gritted out.

“Ooh, this one ! Well, it’s pretty obvious, don’t you think ? You _did_ collab within a month. And you _did_ stop trash talking him.”

“I didn’t call you to get dragged,” they said. “I called because…”

Shouyou laughed, the sound distorted by his phone. “You know I’m right and you’re too childish to admit it !”

Oh, fuck him.

And fuck him more, because he _was_ right.

* * *

 

There was no escaping it. Bokuto was made aware through text, Kuroo was told by Bokuto, _Oikawa Tooru_ somehow learned about it and mentioned it in his monthly vlog… There really was no way Keiji could avoid the comments of “Oh, when did you two start dating ? I thought you hated each other. Is this a type of love-hate rivalry ?”.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer… and your lover at arm’s length. Had it really been going on for so long people took notice of it ? It’s true that Tsukishima made vlogs, that Keiji totally did not watch until dawn lit the room. And he thought they were a pretty accurate description of Tsukishima: bitter humour, misanthropy and a very black soul that Keiji couldn’t help but see himself in. Was that too weird ? Or was he supposed not to fall for the rose with all the thorns ?

Just thinking of how Tsukishima would react if compared to a rose made him chuckle. They’d hate every second of it.

Since when was he a Tsukishima mind-reader ?

* * *

 

Shouyou wouldn’t stop smiling. “You like hiiim,” he sing-songed. “You have a super gay crush on your fated rival !”

“I’m not crushing, ok ? I don’t do crushes,” Kei mumbled.

“What, are you saying you’re already in love with him ?” Yamaguchi piped in. “Damn, Tsukki, you’re in too deep.”

“Stop referencing stupid emo songs,” Kei said. They felt a headache starting behind their eyes, and briefly tried to remember why they’d agreed to see both Shouyou and Yamaguchi at the same time. It really wasn’t that bad, but they liked being dramatic about it. If not, Shouyou would get more bad ideas, and they’d be the one to suffer through them.

If they thought about it twice, though… Yamaguchi was the one who prompted them to make a collab with their unconfessed crush, so things had really been going in the right direction. Right up until Akaashi picked the one song he shouldn’t have, and now Kei wasn’t sure they’d ever look at him in the eye again.

There would be quite a lot of reasons to, sadly, and a lot of them were the all-in-caps comments on every video they posted asking about their next collab.

**< <fuck**

people keep asking for another collab

think we can come to an agreement ?

**> >fuck**

This time I’m the one picking the songs.

Yes, everything would be alright.

* * *

“Why am I named ‘fuck’ in your phone ?” Keiji said, his head over Tsukishima’s shoulder. They startled, hissing “Don’t scare me like that !”, but they didn’t explain. The truth was probably that they thought Keiji was annoying, and he couldn’t be bothered to care right now. Or he just cared so much it’d been absorbed back into his consciousness, who knows.

“So,” Keiji says, his coffee in hand. “You wanted to see me ?”

“I did,” Tsukishima said, but they didn’t elaborate. Some seconds passed, and Keiji didn’t feel inclined to make things easier for them. “I… I never apologised for all the things I said about you,” they ended up saying, looking intently at their knotted fingers. “I shouldn’t have.”

Keiji guessed this is the closest he’d come to an actual “I’m sorry”, and he’d gladly take it. Every fiber of his being was also screaming that this looked like a first date – a cute café, Tsukishima turning pink, his own quickening heartbeat… It was not a date, though, it was really just a… a business meeting.

Keiji knew this was bullshit even before the thought formed. Tsukishima was not looking at him, and he realised that he missed his last sentence, so he had to ask him to repeat. This seemed to help calm down Tsukishima.

“For out next collab,” they said, like they were planning several more, “I think we should cover a Japanese band. Back Number is a good one, in my opinion.”

“Oh, yeah, I know them. Which song do you suggest ?”

“Takane no Hanako-san.”

The answer was too quick to be honest – they researched it, that must mean something. Keiji would angst about this excessively when he came back home and his computer was within reach, but for now he just had to nod, and pretend everything was normal.

* * *

 

They fucked up, they fucked up, abort mission ! Kei was one hundred percent sure Akaashi would be looking up the lyrics of the song they suggested, and it was a pretty mushy love song. That would tell him way more than he needed to know about Kei’s feelings. Which was the entire point, but it was never too late to regret taking good decisions.

“It’ll be fine,” Yamaguchi said from his prime place of lying on the floor. “I don’t even have to know what you’re thinking about to tell you that.”

True. However, Kei would like to argue, they were not used to things going so smoothly.

**< <fuck**

it’s a pretty love song

anything to say about it ?

Ah, here they were, the dreaded texts of shame. Kei wasn’t even sure what to answer, and that was a first.

**> >fuck**

It’s just a song that I like.

Yes, yes, when in doubt, cover up.

**< <fuck**

i’m not buying that crap, mr i hate your eyes

Busted.

**> >fuck**

What are you suggesting ?

<< **fuck**

that we talk about it like the grown ups we’re supposed to be

Kei shivered, and put their phone away after typing a quick reply.

“What’s going on ?” Yamaguchi asked. “Did he bust your ass ?”

“You’re uncivilised,” Kei answered. “He’s…”

Yamaguchi waited patiently for the end, but it didn’t come. Instead, Kei was left staring at their phone when it beeped again with Akaashi’s replies.

<< **fuck**

you know what ? we should start again

hello, my name is akaashi keiji, pleased to meet you

(you’re supposed to answer)

oh well, i guess i tried

* * *

Bokuto was once more lying on the floor, chin in his hand, lost deep in thought.

“So… you’re saying they left you on read.”

“It’s been like five days…” Keiji sighed. “I thought they’d be… ok, maybe not happy, but that they’d wanna make things right. Apparently not,” he said, unable 

to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

“You gotta admit, this shit is wild. A week ago, everyone was convinced this peep hated your guts, and now you’re saying they confessed to you via song lyrics before ignoring you for like a week?”

It was even worse said like this, but Keiji nodded, and let himself fall back on his office chair. He’d really thought everything would work out, in the fanfiction-worthy scenario he’d pictured. It didn’t have to end in romance, he’d have been happy with begrudgingly becoming friends. Why were things always this difficult ?

* * *

“You’re only making things more difficult for yourself the longer you wait, you know this, right ?” Yamaguchi piped in from the couch. In an odd twist of faith, Kei had walked to his house, and was now sprawled on the armchair. “If you’d answered right away, you wouldn’t be moping right now.”

Kei had to admit that he was right. It wouldn’t have been difficult to answer “Hi, I’m Tsukishima Kei”, and see where things kicked off from there. But they had to think things twice – thrice – as many times as their brain would allow – and now they were stuck. They had to come up with a pretty good reason for now answering, and “I freaked out” probably wouldn’t do.

“You know that saying ‘I freaked out’ would work, right ?” Yamaguchi said, using his mind-reading abilities, apparently. “He’s probably figured out that you worked backwards by now, and he’ll understand.”

“I don’t-”

“You’re gonna listen to me, ok ? It’s already sad seeing your love life when you’re _not_ in love, so for once, listen to me. Talk to him, it’ll be ok.”

“You’re weirdly invested in this,” Kei grumbled.

“Um, excuse me ? I’m your best friend ?”

“Fair,” Kei had to admit.

* * *

 

**> > tsukki**

hey so i heard you were in a pinch

**< < tsukki**

Who is this ?

**> > tsukki**

oooh but does it matter ?

hey don’t go silent on me

ok ok so

just talk to akaashi ok ?

you never know when good things can come

especially if you don’t try

ok have a good day tsukki

**< < tsukki**

…

Who the fuck are you.

**> > tsukki**

peace out !

* * *

“It’s weird enough when you make that face, Bokuto-san, so please tell me what you’ve been doing that makes you so giddy.”

“Nothing, nothing, my good friend !” Bokuto boomed out, and Keiji had to pinch his nose to keep in another remark on how loud his friend was.

Truth be told, it was nice to hang out with someone in such high spirits. Keiji himself wasn’t feeling particularly happy, especially since the whole Tsukishima Disaster, as he’d like to label it. Two weeks of radio silence, reading comments in the dark like some sort of information rat. No new video from Tsukishima either. One day, one day Keiji would stop his obsessive stalking of Tsukishima’s social media.

“You know what ?” Bokuto said from where he was lying on the couch. “Outsmart him. Send him the first message.”

“Done,” Keiji answered five seconds later, putting his phone down.

“Wow, I didn’t think you’d do it,” Bokuto said, his tone admirative.

“I’m full of surprises,” Keiji said, and they both couldn’t help the giggles that escaped them.

* * *

 Kei stared some more at the message that was threatening to destroy their entire sense of self, and maybe their chances with Akaashi in the same process.

**< < fuck**

meet me at the cafe

That was all, no place, no time, just “meet me at the cafe”. Meet me in the pit, their mind usefully provided. Well, their life could have ended worse. Yamaguchi would enter the room to find their remains, consumed by an all-encompassing self check of doom. Shouyou would give a teary-eyed speech at their funeral. Kageyama would snort down at their coffin.

Truth be told, they never thought Akaashi would message them again. They’d spent the last two weeks jumping at every notification jingle, and sighing down in relief when they saw it was from someone else. They’d also spent those weeks writing up a carefully crafted answer – actually writing up, on paper and all that. It didn’t go well.

The cafe Akaashi was talking about was probably the one where they already met. Kei had picked it because it was close to their house, just far enough so Akaashi wouldn’t guess from where they’d come from. They’d arrived a good half an hour in advance anyway, just to be sure.

**> > fuck**

Be there in ten.

Ok, they did it, good. Yamaguchi would be proud. Unknown person messaging them would be proud, for whatever that was worth.

**< < fuck**

see you then

“if you don’t chicken out” was not said, but Kei could hear it nonetheless.

* * *

Keiji walked slowly to the table, and sat down without letting his perfectly expressionless face waver. It took him 45 minutes to arrive, and he guessed Tsukishima had been waiting (anxiously, it seemed) and chain drinking coffee to keep themselves from… whatever their brain provided.

“You’re late,” was what Tsukishima first said.

“I live half an hour away,” Keiji answered, letting some annoyance slip into his tone. “I believe you have things to tell me,” he continued, “so, speak.”

“You’re the one who prompted this meeting, you should speak first,” Tsukishima said, and Keiji didn’t even grant that with an answer. Seconds passed, then minutes, until Tsukishima finally caved. “I fucked up, ok ? Sorry. There, I said it, now leave me alone.”

“If that’s what you want,” Keiji replied, carefully keeping his face blank. “ _Only_ if that’s what you really want.”

“Who cares what I want,” Tsukishima winced. “It’s none of your business.”

“We’re supposed to make this work,” Keiji sighed. “And it won’t if you keep walking backwards.”

Tsukishima finally met Keiji’s eyes after that sentence, their expression equal parts anxiety and confusion. And a dash of hope, which proved Keiji he’d made the right choice.

* * *

 

Kei inhaled deeply, and then said, “Hello, my name is Tsukishima Kei, nice to meet you.”

Akaashi seemed surprised by that, but pleasantly so, and he raised a hand to shake Kei’s. “I look forward to talking to you,” he said in answer.

Talking ? Kei tried not to hang up on the meaning of that word – Akaashi could have said “working”, and that would have meant a totally different type of relationship – was there even talk of a relationship, oh god, what would happen ?

“Though,” Akaashi continued, “if my name in your phone is still ‘fuck’, we’re going to run into some technical difficulties.”

He was smiling, small but present twitch of his lips, and Kei hoped, just hoped, everything would be ok.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it ! Please don't forget to leave a comment and a kudo, they're what keeps me writing. Have a good day !


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